


It Should Have Been Me

by The_Ace_Anon



Series: Idiots in love [3]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Character Death, Drinking, Heavy Angst, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-03 15:10:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19466572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Ace_Anon/pseuds/The_Ace_Anon
Summary: They should have known it would be that simple. Should have known that Heaven and Hell could figure it out, but they didn't. And now he's missing.((Each chapter is a separate verson of what could have happened))





	1. Crowley

Crowley could barely remember the walk to his flat. Keeping the Bentley together and averting the apocalypse tended to take a lot out of a demon, and while he didn’t need sleep his body was used to getting it. He felt bad about making Aziraphale support him after the day he had, but the angel didn’t seem to mind and when he tried to walk on his own he almost fell over.

Aziraphale unlocked the door when they got to the flat and helped Crowley get into his bed. The second Crowley kicked his shoes off and managed to wiggle under the covers he was out. It only seemed like a few minutes had gone by before Aziraphale was shaking him awake.

“Crowley! Crowley wake up! I have an idea.” Crowley groaned and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

“What is it, angel?”

“Well, I was trying to figure out Agnes’ last prophecy, and I think I know what it means. Heaven and Hell are most likely going to come for us tomorrow, and my best guess is that they mean to destroy us. Me with hellfire and you with holy water, but what if you were the one who they tried to destroy with hellfire and they tried to destroy me with holy water?”

“Why would they try to destroy you with holy water, you’re an angel there’s no way that would work.”

“Well yes it wouldn’t work, but they wouldn’t know it was me. You see dear boy, Agnes told us to choose our faces wisely so what if we switched bodies and I pretended to be you and you pretended to be me?”

“Switch bodies? Would that work? What if we...blow up or something?”

“Well...at least we tried something. And it’s the best guess I have for what we’re supposed to do. So…” Aziraphale outstretched his hand towards Crowley and gave him a small smile “Willing to give it a try?”

Crowley stared at Aziraphale’s hand for a moment, then shrugged. “What the hell, it’s better than just letting them kill us.” And he took Azira’s hand. 

Crowley added switching bodies to his list of Things I Don’t Really Want To Go Through Again. The feeling of switching bodies didn’t feel bad per-say, but it wasn’t super pleasant either. Neither was looking over at Aziraphale only to see his own face staring back at him. Then his face but not his face broke into a smile.

“It worked! And we didn’t explode! Now we just have to act like each other and then we should be fine...hopefully. Now come on, we need to make sure we act just like each other. One mistake could give away our real identities after all.” 

They spent the rest of the night working on pretending to be each other. It took Aziraphale a while to get Crowley’s walk down and to stop having perfect posture, but after a bit he finally got it. Meanwhile, it took Crowley a while to get used to walking normally. After deciding that they were as close to perfect as they were going to get, Crowley got ready to go over to Azira’s bookshop.

Before he left, he watched Azira take care of the plants and wispear compliments to them. He could feel the ‘I love you’ try to force its way out of his mouth, but he kept it in. Crowley ended up just giving a goodbye and leaving, he could tell Azira later, after this was over with.

Crowley thought that because he knew heaven was coming that it wouldn’t surprise him. That they wouldn’t scare him because he was prepared. He had been wrong. The second he felt the angels grab him from behind he tried to warn Aziraphale, tried to tell him it was happening now, but the angels stopped him from speaking and dragged him away. He watched Azira realize he was being kidnapped and try to help him, only to be knocked out by the demons and dragged away. Unable to help and unable to be helped.

It really hit Crowley then, that this could be the last time he saw his angel. Heaven or Hell could realize what they did and easily kill them, or they had misjudged what was happening, or...no, he had to stop worrying about it. If he worried too much he risked giving away his cover, so as the angels threw him into the back of the van he tried his best to stay calm. As they forced him up to heaven he managed to keep a straight face, all the while hoping that Azira would make it though.

The trial, if you could even call it that, was short. He made sure to scare enough that they wouldn’t even dare to hurt Azira again, and was extremely disappointed when the hellfire didn’t hit Gabriel. He got out of heaven as quickly as he could and immediately went to their rendezvous point. Aziraphale wasn’t there yet.  _ That’s fine. _ Crowley told himself.  _ I went really quickly it could be taking Azira a bit longer. This is fine. _ He sat down on the bench and waited. Watching for a black, lanky figure.

Hours went by, no one showed up. Crowley forced himself to stay on the bench. Aziraphale was probably just taking his time. He always liked to go slow.  _ Please come back angel, please I can’t take it if you’re gone. _ Crowley waited, and waited, and waited. Before he knew it a few days had gone by, and Aziraphale was still gone. Crowley knew what must have happened, but he didn’t want to believe it. No, they must just be holding him maybe trying to figure out how he survived the holy water. That had to be it, he couldn’t handle the alternative.

After a few more hours of waiting, Crowley left the park. He needed alcohol, lots of it. He needed his angel back, he needed Azira to not be- Crowley put a hand over his mouth and tried to stop the tears that were threatening to spill over. He fell to the ground and tears ran down his face despite his best efforts. Aziraphale was gone. He was dead. He had to be. There was no way he wasn’t.

He would never see that smile that looked like it was made of pure sunshine again. Never get to hear Azira ramble on about a book he liked or let out a pleased hum because he found another food he liked. Never watch him try to praise Crowley’s plants without the demon noticing, or see a faint halo appear over his head because he’s so happy he just couldn’t keep it hidden. Never hear him get upset about people trying to buy his books or Crowley trying to organize his books. Never get to hug him again, to feel the warmth that radiated from him. Never again would he see that sparkle in his eye when he got excited. Crowley let out a sob.

Maybe he could have done something different, maybe he could have stopped this. If he forced Azira to leave Earth with him if he had just let Armageddon happen. But he couldn’t think about what he could have done, thinking about it didn’t matter. His angel was gone, forever, and there was nothing Crowley could do about it. He put Azira’s books into storage, kept the bookstore just in case. He spent most of his days drunk and considered dowing a cup of holy water, it would be better than this hell of an existence he was leading now. But he couldn’t, because what if Azira was still alive and when he came back all he found were some demon remains and a puddle of holy water.

So he went on, let the years pass by. He stopped paying attention to humanity, stopped paying attention to anything. He didn’t care. Fuck the Earth, fuck God, fuck Heaven and Hell and angels and demons. His angel was  _ gone _ . And he was never coming back.


	2. Aziraphale

Aziraphale ended up carrying Crowley back to his flat, the demon being too tried to walk by himself as shown by the fact that when he had tried to walk on his own had promptly fallen over. When they finally got to the flat he used a minor miracle to unlock the door and led Crowley to his bed. The demon kicked off his shoes, got about half of his body under the covers, and passed out. Aziraphale covered Crowley completely with the covers and hung up his coat before he sat down next to him.

He took out Agnes’ last prophecy and read it again. _ When alle is sayed and all is done, choose your faces wiseley, for soon enouff ye will be playing with Fyre.  _ The first part was obviously referring to soon after the not-a-pocalypse, the second and third however...he wasn’t as sure about those two. 

_ Think Aziraphale, what is Heaven going to do to you?  _ He wasn’t completely sure, no one had ever betrayed Heaven before. Well, at least not since all of those angels were cast out, the ones that became demons. But he doubted he was going to fall. Then hell would have to deal with him and he was pretty sure above and below just wanted them gone for good. So that would mean hellfire and holy water.

Perhaps that’s what the third part of the prophecy met. But, how would choosing their faces wisely help with that? Hellfire could kill an angel in seconds, no matter what they looked like. Only demons couldn’t be harmed by it...wait.  _ I think I know what Agnes is trying to say. _ Aziraphale immediately tried to wake the demon sleeping soundly next to him.

“Crowley! Crowley wake up! I have an idea.” Crowley groaned and sat up, rubbing his eyes.

“What is it angel?”

“Well, I was trying to figure out Agnes’ last prophecy, and I think I know what it means. Heaven and Hell are most likely going to come for us tomorrow, and my best guess is that they mean to destroy us. Me with hellfire and you with holy water, but what if you were the one who they tried to destroy with hellfire and they tried to destroy me with holy water?”

“Why would they try to destroy you with holy water, you’re an angel there’s no way that would work.”

“Well yes it wouldn’t work, but they wouldn’t know it was me. You see dear boy, Agnes told us to choose our faces wisely so what if we switched bodies and I pretended to be you and you pretended to be me?”

“Switch bodies? Would that work? What if we...blow up or something?”

Oh, he hadn’t considered that. “Well...at least we tried something. And it’s the best guess I have for what we’re supposed to do. So…” Aziraphale outstretched his hand towards Crowley and gave him a small smile “Willing to give it a try?”

Crowley stared at Aziraphale’s hand for a moment, and for a second he was scared the demon would say no, then shrugged. “What the hell, it’s better than just letting them kill us.” And he took Azira’s hand.

Having gone through something like this before, Aziraphale could say that Crowley’s body fit a lot better than Madame Tracy’s had, probably because he was currently the only one in this body. It was, however, very odd to look over at where Crowley had been and see his face instead.

“It worked!” He exclaimed letting his face (Crowley’s face?) break into a smile. “And we didn’t explode! Now we just need to act like each other and we should be fine...hopefully. Now come on, we need to make sure we act just like each other. One mistake could give away our real identities after all.”

They ended up spending the night working on acting like each other. It took Aziraphale far too long to get used to Crowley’s ridiculous way of walking and to stop sitting up straight but he managed eventually. Likewise, it took Crowley quite a bit to walk normally and to have perfect posture. When they decided they were as close as perfect as they were going to get, Crowley got ready to go to Aziraphale’s bookshop (or what was left of it if Adam didn’t repair it, oh he really hoped Adam repaired it).

Aziraphale got to work taking care of the plants and trying his best to cheer them up, they really were far too stressed, when he noticed Crowley standing in the doorway looking like he wanted to say something. Before he could ask about it, however, the demon just mumbled a quiet ‘goodbye’ and left. He just shrugged and went back to what he had been doing. Crowley did a lot of odd things like that, besides if Crowley really wanted to say something he could just say it...after.

Aziraphale assumed that, because they knew what was to happen beforehand, he would have to pretend to be surprised and scared. He was wrong. He hadn’t even noticed the angels dragging Crowley away until the demon seemingly went quiet and he turned around to see Crowley gagged and tied up. Just seeing him being dragged away, even if he didn’t look how Crowley normally looked, and not being able to do a thing. It was almost too much.

He hoped this wouldn’t be-no, no he couldn’t think like that. Aziraphale knew he would see Crowley again, Crowley couldn’t die. He just couldn’t. Aziraphale tried to run after them, only to be hit hard on the back and fall to the ground. He tried to crawl towards Crowley, but then everything went black. He woke to find himself in hell and being led into Crowley’s trial.

Even though he wanted to get through the trial as quickly as possible he took his time, he didn’t want to risk being caught because he went too fast. As soon as the trial was over he ran over to the rendezvous point. Crowley wasn’t there yet, but that was fine he was probably just taking his time. Aziraphale sat down and waited, watching for himself.

Hours went by, then days. Still no sign of Crowley, but-but that was fine. Heaven might have just been putting off his trial! Crowley wouldn’t die, Agnes was never wrong.  Although he could have misinterpreted it or she could have been wrong this one time or- Everything would be fine, it had to be. Crowley had to be alive he refused to believe otherwise.

Aziraphale felt something wet run down his cheek and rubbed it off, only for more wet things to run down his face. He put a hand to his mouth and felt his body shake. Why was he crying he was fine! Crowley was fine! Right? He-he was- A sob forced its way out of his mouth and the crying got worse.

Crowley was fine, Heaven was just taking its time or he was just being slow. He would come back Aziraphale just needed to wait. So he waited, eventually leaving the park to take care of Crowley’s plans. He didn’t want them to all be dead when the demon came back. His bookshop stayed closed, deciding not to reopen it until Crowley was back. And he was going to come back! Aziraphale waited, not paying attention to the cold dead feeling that was spreading through his body every day Crowley was gone, not paying attention to the fact that he couldn’t get through a day without bursting into tears, not paying attention to how he couldn’t eat anymore without throwing it up. Crowley would come back one day, he just had to wait.


End file.
